Never Enough
by EndOfXperience
Summary: Beca was finally through. After a bad breakup with Jesse and a lost friendship with Chloe due to her somewhat sequestered nature, Beca is convinced that she will never be enough for anybody she loves. It's up to Aubrey to change her mind. Trigger Warnings: abuse, self-harm, suicide attempt. Slight AU (nothing major)
1. Never Enough

**Hi all! I've had this idea floating around in my head for a while. This is just a really angsty, slightly AU Mitchsen fic. The main AU thing is that the big brawl took place after semis, not regionals.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy. Just beware: sensitive subjects ahead.**

* * *

One last push. That's all it took to send Beca Mitchell to the rooftop of the apartment complex where she lived. Tears streaked down her face as she surveyed the ground below, well aware that the distance between her and the ground was more than enough to severely injure her, but more likely kill her. If that didn't, then the surprised traffic surely wouldn't have time to stop before she was run over. As she stood on the ledge, she embraced the feeling that all of her pain might finally end.

All of her years of suffering. Years of abuse, anger, neglect. Years of pain, sadness, and despair. Years of feeling that there was no hope.

But not even her lack of hope could compare to how she felt now. Now that all of her hope was forcibly ripped away from her, just before she decided that she would be capable of maybe, just _maybe,_ finally getting past enough of her pain to talk to someone. No matter what she tried she was never enough. She wasn't enough for her mom. She wasn't enough for her dad. She wasn't enough for Jesse, or Chloe, or certainly not the blonde-haired ex-Bellas captain whom she had been crushing on for almost two years.

She desperately wanted to feel that someone would love her unconditionally. She wanted someone to stay with her long enough that she could open up about her troubled past, however long it took, and someone who would listen to all of her present insecurities and future fears. She wanted someone to be by her side through everything, but no one was. Not since she was 14.

Now she just wanted it to end. She had given up on all of the hope she had ever held. She felt empty. She had hoped against hope that for once she had found lasting friends, who wouldn't become impatient over her guarded nature, and might finally accept her for who she was, and help her become the person she wanted to be. But they left, just like everyone else always and inevitably did.

And with that she stepped up onto the ledge and braced herself to jump. Her vision blurred, and she began to lose control. She just wanted it all to end.

"Beca! Wait!"

* * *

When Beca was 14 and returning home from school, everything became worse. Her happy family suddenly disappeared, as soon as she walked in the door.

"Mom! I'm home!"

Upon hearing no immediate response, Beca walked further into her house, and was met with the last sight she ever expected to see. Her mother was crumpled unconscious on the floor, a piece of paper neatly folded on the table beside her, and an empty bottle of pills on her other side.

"Mom!"

Beca immediately went to check for a pulse. Upon feeling none, she panicked, and allowed tears to start slipping down her face. She placed two calls that night. The first was to 911. The ambulance responded relatively quickly, but Beca knew in her heart that it wasn't quick enough. Her mother had already succumbed to her demons, and nothing would change that.

The paramedics pronounced Mrs. Mitchell dead at the scene, and Beca just crumpled to the ground in tears. She wanted it to just be a joke. She wanted her mother to sit up and say "Gotcha!" But it wasn't going to happen. She sat there and cried for hours and hours.

Upon hearing the news, Beca's father was distraught. He dropped everything and rushed straight home, where he did his best too comfort his daughter. But it didn't last. Nothing good in Beca's life ever did.

After his wife died, Beca's father drank. He drank and drank and drank, night after night after night, leaving Beca to fend for herself against the world, and him. The first few nights were filled with sadness, but soon anger took their place.

* * *

"Fuck you, you bitch! You're the reason she's not here anymore. She would have stayed if it wasn't for you! I would still have her if you weren't always screwing shit up!" Beca's father screamed at her.

"How is this my fault?" Beca raised her voice in turn, causing her father's to drop dangerously low.

"Do not raise your voice to me, and do not talk back!" His sentence ended with a vicious slap, sending Beca sprawling to the ground.

"This is all your fault!" Each word Warren Mitchell said was punctuated by a kick to his daughter's ribs, hard enough to cause pain, but not hard enough to cause severe damage. He didn't want her to be sent to the hospital. All that would come of that would be questions, and even in his inebriated state he understood that that would be unacceptable.

"Do not let me see you again tonight!"

Beca managed to drag herself up to her room, where she locked herself in and curled up into a ball, sobbing until she cried herself to sleep.

It only escalated after that. Every day was worse and worse.

"Give me my wife back!"

"I hate you, you disgusting whore!"

"I wish I'd never had you."

"You don't deserve to be alive!"

Each day the beatings got worse and worse, but never enough to break a bone, or otherwise severely injure her enough for a hospital visit. Beca's father needed his punching bag, after all.

And each night, Beca would somehow manage to crawl up the steps and into her room, locking herself in and crying herself to sleep. Until one day, two months later, she decided something had to change.

* * *

Beca couldn't fix anything. She couldn't control anything. Her life was dictated by her father. Her pain and her feelings were dictated by her father. And she wanted it to change.

This was where the razor blade came in. She had found it among her mother's old belongings, and it was sharp enough that it could cut her skin. And with it, she realized that she finally had some semblance of control over her pain.

Suddenly, Beca was the one to dictate when and where her pain would happen. When she wanted it to happen. Because once she started, it was incredibly difficult to stop.

The first time was after her dad's 60th consecutive beating. Yes, she had counted. She counted every single day, just so she would eventually be able to tell when it had stopped. She wanted to know how long it took for him to maybe finally care about her again.

The number 60 was what finally broke her. So, she carefully fingered the blade, and sunk it into the flesh of her wrist. Horizontally, of course. And not too deep. Just enough to cut the surface, draw blood, and make her feel her own pain.

And it was thrilling.

She had been craving some way to feel on her own. And she had finally found it. And she was unwilling to give it up.

* * *

She did a good job of hiding her scars, not that anybody cared enough to look for it. She was the little withdrawn alt girl. She didn't care to make friends, and people didn't care to make friends with her.

Her natural don't-fuck-with-me aura was enough to drive both friends and enemies away, to the point where the only other humans she had any meaningful contact with were her teachers and her father. (Of course, contact with him was completely hated, but also completely unavoidable).

It was because of this that she was able to build up her prison. Layers and layers of stone walls, and then an iron gate surrounded a portcullis, that led into a courtyard with an excellent view of an extremely well-fortified keep. Beca took shelter in this keep behind even more walls, separating herself from anybody and everybody around her. She wanted nothing more than to stay away from everybody.

And for five years she was successful (at least, where her father wasn't involved).

* * *

Enter Barden University.

The biggest wrench in her plans ever. And it all started with a bubbly redhead and a bitchy blonde. Beca had no intention of ever joining a group in Barden. For that matter, she had no intention of going to Barden anyway, but her _amazing_ father could be thanked for that. The acapella, however, was because of someone else.

Chloe Beale was the friendliest, most outgoing person Beca had ever met. That coupled with her lack of respect for personal boundaries meant that she roped Beca into joining the acapella group after invading her shower, when both of them were _naked._ Beca was unappreciative at best, but idea of joining the group also triggered the memory of the blonde at the activities fair.

A blonde who Beca was inexplicably attracted to, despite the uptight air around her that practically screamed, "I have a stick up my ass!"

So, Beca found herself auditioning for an acapella group by singing a song and banging a cup. Maybe not her most glorious moment. But for a while, it felt like it was the best idea she had ever had.

Beca found herself growing gradually accustomed to the strange people surrounding her. They were easily the most unique group of people she had ever met, and eventually she got to the point where she considered them as friends.

Of course, the blonde (whose name was Aubrey Posen) remained as uptight, and their arguments over the setlist were a biweekly event. The fact that she even cared enough to bother with this was surprising to Beca in and of itself, though. It meant that she had finally found something to care about that wasn't as painful as her razor blade.

It still ended up in disaster, at least, for a while.

Their first three performances were all terrible, and they only got by on luck. Beca had been arrested at the end of her third one, and she had received the worst beating she had ever experienced. Thank God that by that time the Bellas had disbanded (temporarily), and there had been no one besides her uncaring roommate to witness her in her weakened state.

When that same damn redhead had invited her back, Beca decided that friends were good, and so she had come back, dispelling a rather disturbing fight involving vomit and rape whistles in the process.

After the blonde finally decided to step down from her dictatorial pedestal, Beca found that the two of them got along pretty well. To the point that they were both each other's second-best friend (behind, of course, Chloe).

But this also hurt Beca in a way that none of the other girls could, because she was completely and utterly convinced that her crush had no feelings for her outside of strictly platonic ones. And so, every encounter with the blonde hurt her in the same way that it healed her, leading to a confusing mix of emotions swirling in Beca's head every single time she saw Aubrey.

It all came to a head after her finals performance with the Bellas, where she kissed Jesse in an attempt to get over her (admittedly massive) crush on Aubrey. For a while she was even able to convince herself that a relationship with Jesse was better for her. It took a year for her to be proven wrong.

* * *

"How could you, Jesse? How could you cheat on me?" Beca was practically hysterical, tears carving their way through the same paths they had taken for years.

"I needed _something_! I've been waiting over a year for you and I can't take it anymore. Men have needs, you know!" Jesse's response was nothing but arrogant and entitled, and it made Beca break down even more.

"Was I not enough for you? Was it really that bad? You needed to resort to some other girl just because I wasn't letting you in my pants fast enough?"

"No, you're not enough. Quite frankly I don't think you'll ever be enough for anyone! You are so fucking frustrating! I've been trying all year for you to open up to me, and so has everyone around you, and you never do. You sit there moping in your little shell, and you don't let anyone in. No one will ever love you because you don't have the capability to come out of your fucking hidey-hole enough to love them back!" Jesse's rant exploded out of his mouth, and it sent Beca running away and sobbing, as she sought comfort in the only place she really associated with positive feelings.

Upon her arrival at Chloe's apartment, Chloe opened the door and her face immediately shifted from her normal happiness into concern. She let Beca in, and they sat down together on the couch as Beca sobbed for all she was worth while Chloe held her.

"Beca, what's wrong? What happened?"

Beca just shook her head in response and sobbed more, her body convulsing with each sound of grief.

"Beca, please, just tell me. I can't help you if you don't let me!" Chloe said, desperately hoping for something.

Upon the reminder of what Jesse had said to her before she ran away crying, she began wailing even more, wrapping her arms around Chloe.

"Beca, please, for the love of God, just tell me what happened." Chloe was beginning to become frustrated, which just upset Beca even more.

"I can't. Please, please, don't make me! I can't." Beca seemed completely desperate for the interrogation to stop, but Chloe wasn't having any of it.

"Goddamnit, Beca! I can't do this anymore. I have been trying my ass off these last two years to get you to actually talk to me and I've had it. Do you not trust me? Have I not done enough for you? Because the way I see it, you haven't done anything at all to repay any of the kindness that any of us have showed you! You haven't even tried to open up to any of us, to make all of our efforts worth it. What can we do now? I'm done trying." Chloe quickly stalked off, forcing Beca off of her.

And Beca began running. She reached the stairwell and ran up until she reached the roof. She had her one last push, and she wanted it all to end.

* * *

"Why should I?" Beca's voice was that of someone who was totally broken. When she looked at Aubrey her eyes were dull and lifeless, and red-rimmed from all of the tears she had cried. "Who would miss me?"

"Chloe would! Jesse would! The Bellas would!" Aubrey said, her eyes beginning to brim with tears as well.

"No, they fucking wouldn't! No one would fucking miss me!"

"Why wouldn't they? They love you. We all love you!" Aubrey's tears had begun falling as well, and both of them were reduced to sobbing messes. "Please just get off the ledge. Please!"

"No one fucking loves me! My mom committed suicide when I was 14. My dad beat me for four years! I had no friends at school until I came here! And then guess what happens! Jesse cheats on me with some bitch just because I wasn't moving fast enough for him! Chloe gives up on me because my walls aren't come down fast enough for her! Who's to say anyone else would be any fucking different! Jesse was right. No one will ever love me. I'll never be enough for anyone." Beca trailed off as she once again began to ready herself to jump.

"Goddamnit Beca, you're already enough for me! I love you!" Aubrey screamed.

"What?" Beca was floored, and momentarily forgot about everything. She forgot about where she was, and why she was there, and she could only focus on the image of perfection standing behind her, and it's beautiful, angelic voice.

"Why?" Beca's voice was so quiet that it was barely audible, but Aubrey understood.

"I've had a toner for you since I saw you at the activities fair. When I looked at you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, and I know I was a bitch, but that was only because I didn't know how to deal with my feelings. And then we worked past our differences and we were able to actually talk to each other. I realized that you had a beautiful personality to match the rest of you. Do you remember the night that we just sat next to each other and looked at the stars? A year ago? That was when I realized I was in love with you.

"And I won't be able to bear it if you leave because I haven't gotten a chance to tell you that I love you, and I haven't gotten a chance to kiss you and I haven't gotten a chance to take you out on a date! I don't care how long it takes you to open up about everything! I just want to be there when it finally happens! Please don't go. Let me try to convince you that it can get better. Please, for both of us." Aubrey finished her speech with a mixture of fear, hope, and anticipation.

"Ok. I'll try it. For both of us." And Beca stepped down from the ledge, turning fully towards Aubrey.

The blonde rushed forwards as soon as she was convinced that Beca was safe, and she enveloped the brunette in her arms. And when she pulled back enough for the two girls to look at each other, she leaned forward and gave Beca a tender kiss. Beca allowed herself to melt into that kiss, and her heart almost exploded when she heard Aubrey whisper an "I love you" into her ear.

And as she responded with an "I love you, too," Beca was revitalized. She allowed herself, one more time, to think that there might be a light in her omnipresent darkness. She allowed herself, one more time, to believe that her hope might not be torn away from her.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed the fic!**

 **To anybody interested, I'm thinking of making this into at least a two-shot, if not a multi-chap fic. I originally just wanted to write out this part as a one-shot, but as I did, I got more and more ideas for what to do after. Let me know if you're interested, or if you think it's okay as is.**


	2. The Conversation(s)

**Hey guys. I just wanted to say thank you for all of the support you've given me. I love that you all care so much about the story, and that's what inspired me to finish this chapter after a mild bout with writer's block. Now for review responses!**

 **.HouseofG: I'm definitely trying to encompass how scared Beca feels of everything. I think I did a decent job of addressing it here. As for the self-harm, I don't want to focus too much on that for the rest of this story, just because it's not a topic I'm very comfortable writing about. Neither is abuse, if I'm honest, which is why it is more of its after-effects which will come into play for the rest of the story. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with Chloe yet. I couldn't make her a total bitch, so she's definitely remorseful here, but I'm not sure if she'll ever be able to repair the friendship with Beca.**

 **FightSong: Thank you for the encouragement. This review is a large reason why this chapter came out now instead of another few days' wait 'till next weekend. I hope you enjoy this and the rest of the story to come.**

 **EDIT: I changed up a few mistakes that I made, and tried to make parts of it flow better.**

* * *

Beca and Aubrey sat together at the apartment that the latter shared with a suspiciously absent Chloe, both taking a seat across from the other at a table. They both stared carefully at the other, for fear that they would leave.

"Beca, I was so afraid…" Aubrey began, but she found herself unable to continue from the tears threatening to fall again.

"So was I. I just… I wanted it to be over. I wasn't really thinking clearly. It just hurt." Beca's own tears were falling again, and she felt that if she were to cry anymore she would have no more. But they kept coming, more than she thought possible, seemingly unable to stop.

"It's okay. I'm here now. I'll stay, as long as you need me, and even when you don't." Aubrey offered a sad smile as her own tears began to fall.

"Are you sure?" Beca's voice seemed pitifully small, as she carefully met the eyes of the woman across from her.

"Do you really think that I would lie to you about it?" Aubrey's voice was so full of care and concern that Beca just melted into it.

"I don't know. I'm so scared. The last people who told me they loved me… one of them killed themselves and the other…"

"I know." Aubrey said as Beca trailed off.

"I don't want to be this scared. I hate feeling like this… like there's no chance of it ever getting better. I don't want to doubt that this is real. But I am. I do."

"Beca, I'll spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you if that's what it takes for you to realize that I mean it. Because I do love you. It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize it, and when I did, you were already with Jesse, but I love you." Aubrey fixed the brunette in her gaze, as if trying to convey the depths of her feelings through only her eyes.

Beca was – logically – terrified. She had so many different things to be scared of, and so few reasons to believe that she shouldn't be. Two of the three people she cared about most had both told her that she wasn't good enough for them, within the span of half an hour. Her dad had spent four years abusing her, stopping only when she came to college and he was remarried. Her mom had killed herself, and without hearing anything to the contrary, Beca was forced to believe that it was at least partially her fault.

She worried that whatever this was, now, with Aubrey, wouldn't last. She wanted it to, because she had decided over a year ago that she loved Aubrey, and had only pushed her away because she was petrified of rejection. After everything that had already happened, she was so scared of rejection that she figured it would be better to try with someone who she knew wouldn't hurt her. Except he did, just because she was so slow to trust. She needed to make sure that the same didn't happen with Aubrey.

"Would you leave if I didn't tell you everything?" Beca's voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it was as if it held the weight of the world, and to her, it did.

"Never, Becs. I want you to get to the point where you feel you can, but I would never force you. I just want to know because I love you, and I want to help you. I can tell that this has been eating you for forever, and I want to help because I want to see you happy. You are such a beautiful person, and I hate the fact that you suffer through it. I think Chloe wants to help too, but she's not good at handling the fact that not everybody is just willing to tell her everything."

"But she didn't help! Not this time… She just... just... She just made everything worse!" Beca lapsed back into sobbing, and Aubrey quickly realized that not only had her impromptu plan to try to mend the rift between Beca and Chloe failed (disastrously), but also that Beca probably wouldn't even consider talking to Chloe for an indefinite length of time, and it was quite possible that she'd never _want_ to mend things with Chloe.

"Shh. It's okay. It'll be okay. I'll help you through everything, okay? I'll make sure that you never have to feel like you're alone. Never, ever again."

After Beca's sobbing subsided, they sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Aubrey heard a knock on the door. "I'll just be a minute, okay?"

She received a soft nod and a murmured agreement before she went to the door. When she opened it and saw her redheaded friend on the other side, she quickly stepped outside and closed the door.

"Shit, shit, shit… Chloe, you can't be here right now. You need to get the fuck away."

"What do you mean? What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Aubrey was astonished. "I just had to talk Beca down from the fucking roof, that's what's going on. And I swear to god, if she sees you…" Aubrey took a second to collect herself. "You need to go stay somewhere else tonight. I'm really worried about her, and I think that seeing you again would be too much after all the shit that's happened today."

"The roof?" Chloe was stunned, tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm going to make this very clear, Chloe. I'm not going to soften it because I think you need to hear it straight. Part of why Beca was on the roof was because of something you said to her today. I don't know what, and quite frankly I don't need to know right now, but what I do know is that I'm absolutely sure that she doesn't even want to think about you. I tried to defend whatever you did to her, and she burst into fucking tears. So you need to give me time to help clean up this fucking mess that you helped make, and that means that I need you to get the fuck away from here so that Beca doesn't see you and become hysterical again."

Chloe's tears started falling. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm _so so_ sorry."

"Save it. I'm not the one you need to apologize to. Because of you, we almost lost her. _I_ almost lost her. So I don't want to hear it, and right now, she doesn't either." Aubrey softened slightly as she saw the effect she was having on the redhead. "Chlo, you're my best friend, but I love her, and you hurt her more than words can describe, and I can't let that slide. You can try to see her when all this shit has been at least partially cleaned up. But for right now, I just need you to crash somewhere else for a night or two."

Chloe nodded softly, before Aubrey turned around and headed back into the apartment. The distinct click of the lock was heard, and the weight of what she'd done suddenly sunk into Chloe. She sunk down against the wall, and just cried quietly.

* * *

Beca woke up to a soft shake from Aubrey. When she looked at the blonde, she momentarily forgot about everything that had transpired just a few minutes before and smiled. The smile was wiped from her face almost as quickly as it was placed there. She wanted to start crying, but then Aubrey smiled.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? It's a bit comfier than this chair."

Beca smiled softly. "I'd love that, but... can you stay, too? I don't want to be alone."

"Of course I will. I'd never dream of leaving you alone after a day like today. Come on. I know you're tired, and so am I."

Beca quickly surrendered to the idea of a nice comfortable rest to alleviate all of her concerns. And as she felt Aubrey's arms securely envelop her, she felt content. Almost happy. She may have even felt the same hope that she felt on the rooftop.

* * *

Beca awoke in the morning to an empty bed and immediately assumed the worst. In her fear and sadness instigated by the thought of Aubrey leaving, she didn't hear the bedroom door open, or the gasp coming from the person who opened it. "Oh my god, Beca! Are you okay?"

"Aubrey?" Beca sounded as if she doubted reality. As if she thought she was dreaming, and that Aubrey was just a figment of her imagination.

"I'm here, Becs. I'm here. I'm not leaving." Aubrey murmured softly into her ear, and traced soothing circles into her back as the brunette gradually calmed down.

"I thought… I thought you _did_ leave. When I woke up alone." Beca sounded absolutely miserable, and her eyes welled up with the tears that she so recently stopped.

"Oh no. I just had to use the bathroom." Aubrey cracked a wry smile. "Trust me, I know it's hard to believe, but I'm not going to leave you. I just got you. And I'm definitely not willing to let you go. You're stuck with me."

Beca wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her in close. "Thank you, so, so much, Aubrey."

"It's nothing, Beca. I'd do everything for you. I love you." Aubrey returned the somewhat unexpected, but objectively unsurprising embrace.

"I… I love you too. And… I want to tell you. Everything. What happened yesterday and what happened to me years ago, and everything I'm scared of in the future. I want to tell you everything."

"You don't have to, Becs. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I could go the rest of my life without knowing as long as I spent that time with you." Aubrey looked concerned, but also reassuring. It made Beca's heart melt, but she decided that now was probably the best time. She trusted Aubrey, at least, more than anyone else in her life now.

"I want to. And I don't feel pressured, because you're the only one who hasn't pressured me. You've always been happy to just sit with me and hang out, and I really appreciate that. And because of that, I want you to know more than I want anybody else to." At this, Aubrey smiled happily, recognizing the utmost faith and trust that Beca was putting in her, and silently vowing never to betray it.

"It all started six years ago, when I was fourteen. I came home and I found my mom on the ground next to a bottle of pills. I think she suffered from chronic depression, but I never knew the full details. My dad wouldn't tell me a thing…" Beca trailed off, trying to choke back the tears that she had known from the beginning were inevitable.

Aubrey walked around the table, and engulfed Beca in her arms. It made Beca feel _safe_ , which is something that no one else had managed to make her feel within the last six years. It made her cry, just how much that one embrace meant to her, and her future. She wanted to feel that embrace for the rest of her life.

"If you want to stop…" Aubrey began.

"No. I was just thinking of how protected you make me feel. I haven't felt anything like that for six years." Aubrey pulled Beca closer against her, and Beca returned the favor, until she somewhat ( _very_ ) reluctantly withdrew.

"Like I said earlier, my dad beat me for four years. Between the time my mom died and when I came here, he beat me almost every night. I think he's stopped now because there's more people around so it's harder to find me alone, but also because he has a new family. My step-monster and her kids." Beca allowed a brief silence to overtake the conversation before she resumed. "But, you should know, I started this after the first two months."

Beca rolled her sleeves up, causing a gasp from Aubrey. Beca looked down in shame, and put her head in her hands. She was surprised to feel, again, the warm embrace that she was suddenly so accustomed to from the blonde. "It's okay. I told you I wouldn't leave. This doesn't matter. I still love you, and you're still the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

Aubrey had the most kind and caring look Beca had ever seen plastered firmly on her face, and it made her sob openly. She collapsed into Aubrey's embrace, continuing to let out all of the emotions she had pent up over six years, and all of the new ones she was feeling.

Aubrey took a closer inspection of Beca's arms once the crying died down, and asked, "When did you stop? None of these look fresh."

Beca smiled lightly. "A few months after joining the Bellas. Strangely enough, our arguments helped. Talking to you at all was great, but I realized that I really cared about the Bellas and the setlist, and I really felt something. I started to cut less and less, because I realized that I could feel something that wasn't pain just as intensely. And then there was the fact that I finally had friends. I had spent most of my teenage years without them, so having some made a big difference."

Aubrey smiled slightly before Beca continued. "Anyway, that's most of the past. But yesterday was the real problem. What I said earlier was a brief overview, but I caught Jesse cheating on me with some random girl. I confronted him about it, and he told me…he told me that…I-I would n-never be enough… f-for anyone because I-I couldn't let my walls down." Beca's voice began breaking towards the end of her sentence, and this time she found herself initiating the embrace with Aubrey to calm herself.

The blonde rubbed soothing circles on the brunette's back, waiting patiently until she calmed down enough to finish.

"So, I went to Chloe, because she's Chloe." Beca let out a wry smile at that. "And she helped for a little while, but then she started to reiterate what J-Jesse said…she told me that…that she couldn't help me…b-because I wasn't opening up after two years. She…she said that I hadn't done a-anything to r-repay you guys for your kindness. A-and that's when I ran to the roof."

"I really don't know what came over her. She's not usually like that, and I was totally convinced that she wanted to help you with whatever you were going through almost as much as I did, but I just want you to know that she is totally wrong. You being you is enough for me, and it should be enough for everyone." Aubrey smiled sadly and sympathetically.

"Thank you." Beca had begun to stop crying, but tears were still welling in her eyes. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"I do know, Beca, but I wish I didn't." At Beca's look of confusion, she elaborated. "I waited my entire life for my dad's approval, but thanks to his success in the army, he's expected nothing but the best from me, and it's much, much, much more often that he tells me what I did wrong, instead of what I did right." She scoffed quickly, "He'll probably be disappointed in me for this, too. He doesn't really know I'm gay."

"Oh, god, Bree. I don't want to ruin your relationship with your dad. I should-"

Aubrey suddenly turned stern. "Don't say another word, Beca. I love you, far more than I ever have or will love him. I would _never_ want you to leave, and I wouldn't let you, and I know that's what you were getting at. Just like I said earlier, you're stuck with me."

Beca smiled softly. "Thanks, Bree. This whole thing really shows how insecure I am, doesn't it?" she gave a small, mirthless chuckle. "I'm just really scared of being left again. It's hard for me to open up and now you know everything, and I have this totally irrational fear that you'd make me regret it, even if I don't really believe it."

"Oh, Beca. I love you. I would never use this against you, especially because I'm so glad that you chose to tell me in the first place. I love you so much that the thought of you being in any sort of pain kills me. And I want you to know that it's okay that you feel insecure, because I will tell you every day for the rest of our lives how beautiful you are and how much I love you."

And with that, Aubrey leaned in and kissed Beca, solidly. When she pulled away, she smiled at Beca, who leaned back in to return the kiss with all of the affection that she had forgotten she possessed. And Aubrey was making her feel the same exact love and care that she herself was trying to convey, and as Beca pulled away, she came to a realization.

She had finally found someone who loved her with all of their being, and whom Beca loved with all of hers. It was an all-consuming adoration that Beca felt with everything she was, and tried to show with everything she did. And she felt the same devotion reflected back at her from the blonde-haired angel in front of her. And in that moment, Beca knew that, despite the long road ahead of her, she was going to be okay.

"I love you too."

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I'm not sure when the next update comes out, or quite what I should do with it, but I'll start brainstorming. Maybe something to do with Chloe, or Aubrey's dad? Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**


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